Apple is still on my hate list. But at least I get a bed today.

So, if anyone is wondering about my second post yesterday, I will share the tragedy. That gem was posted less then a minute after iTunes decided it eat the songs on my iPhone like they were skittles. All 834 of them. Greedy bastard. My brain was racing from deciding to cry, scream, throw the new laptop (luckily I talked my brain down from this one, b/c Brandon would have been extremely upset with this), launch my iPhone out of a rocket shooter, punch something, or blog angrily. My brain was leaning towards the rocket launcher thing, but luckily I talked it down to the blogging choice. We also don't own a rocket launcher but that's besides the point. I was all jacked up on adrenaline and anger so logic didn't matter. After blogging, I pushed my iFan (I decided I'm not going to call it by its real name because it can't do its job correctly) off the arm of the recliner and it landed about 3 feet away where it stayed in time-out for about an hour. I then proceeded to madly think of some good songs to download to shove on iFan so I would have something to listen to at work. That's the real problem. iFan provides me with roughly 8 hours of music at work, every day. I have iFan music and Snapple to get me through the day. And without either of those, the crap hits the fan. I know I could listen to the radio on it, but it's not the same. If the radio decides to play Brittney Spears, I'm stuck listening to it. Can't skip on the radio. Other problem, I spent about 4-5 weeks getting all those songs onto that stupid iFan. Now you're saying, just re-syncing iFan with the computer with all those songs. Well see, the problem is that that computer is our old slower-than-dirt computer that is no longer hooked up to anything. Now, Amanda, why didn't you save all those songs onto something in case your iFan freaked out? I wanted to. But Brandon was all "its soo slow and already unhooked and you don't really need it..bluh bluh bluh." And yes. I am blaming this ALL on Brandon. That's what husbands are for. Blaming crap on. And it is his fault. Let me present all the reasons it is his fault.
Reasons it's Brandon's fault that iTunes ate my songs like skittles:
1. The song I was trying to get on my iFan was "red light". A country song he introduced me too.
2. He bought me iFan in the first place.
3. He is the one that bought me a new bed (which is being delivered today, three weeks ahead of schedule). I think karma noticed the scales were unbalanced since I was getting my awesome bed early, and that's why karma whispered in iTunes' ear that my songs tasted like Skittles and put the idea in its head. The scales are even I believe.
4. He wasn't home to help me with my technology problems. I could have discussed my process with him before doing it and probably wouldn't be in this predicament.
5. Everything is his fault.

So I now have 26 (well, there's 27 but one isn't even the song it's supposed to be so I don't wanna listen to it) to listen to for 8 hours today. Instead of 834. And the prospect of spending who-knows how many hours to get my iFan back to where it was pre-Skittles monster.

I also decided that it is all Steve Jobes (or whatever is name is) fault. Because he created Apple. And it was the Apple website that led me to the slaughter. (I was following step-by-step directions on their website. Another rant, another day) So I've been working on a list of things to do to get back at him for this travesty.
What Steve Jobes has coming to him:
1. Something involving a velicoraptor. Because they are awesome.
2. Change all his clocks to be 27 minutes behind. So he's late for everything.
3. Take him avian flu infected meatloaf. (It's ok. It's not as deadly as everyone makes it sound. I would use H1N1 but he probably got that shot so it would just be funny tasting meatloaf.)
4. Release a goose into his home. Not a nice, mother goose-y goose, but a deadly killer goose.
5. Shave all of his pets and spray paint them neon-pink.
6. Replace all of his computers with PCs. Not that PCs' suck. Because that's what I use. But because he is the creator of Apple, which makes it ironic.
7. Cut all of his shoelaces short, so he can't tie any of his shoes.
8. Something involving velcro. Because I like the sound it makes when you tear the two pieces apart. Maybe something involving velcro and raptors together, because that would be full of awesome-ness. It would be so awesome it would probably create an black hole that just sucked up unawesome stuff. Like Steve Jobes.

These are just a beginning. If you have an ideas, feel free to submit. Who doesn't love a diabolical plan?!
Side note: Spellcheck does not include Velicoraptor. Which I'm probably spelling incorrectly. But Spellcheck isn't helping so tough luck. And I just noticed how my spelling of Velicoraptor and velcro is very close. Coincidence? I think not.

Ok. Snapple fact of the day.

Fact #854. "Hawaii is the only U.S. state that grows coffee."
I hate coffee. But I love Hawaii. Well, I love the idea of Hawaii. Never been, so not positive I love, but pretty sure. But, now that I know this, I might like Hawaii less. Especially if it smells like coffee. I absolutely hate the smell of coffee. You're screaming "unamerican" and throwing apple pies on me right now, but I'm sorry. I hate the smell of coffee. It's from 6 years of hostessing and waiting tables and serving the nasty crap. So the smell reminds me of that. It also tastes horrible. I don't want to drink something that I have to add a ton of stuff (sugar, creamer, milk, babies, etc.) to be able to stand the taste. Not my cup of tea. or coffee. Because, even after adding all the above mentioned things, it still doesn't taste good! But, I can't control everyone, yet, unfortunately. Although I am making plans to change that. So, continue drinking your coffee. And assaulting my nostrils with the putrid smell.

Just googled velociraptor. found out the correct spelling. but I'm lazy and like my spelling better. Also googled Steve Jobs. also too lazy to fix his name. Maybe that can be another part of the plan. Convince everyone his name is spelled Jobes.