Jessie Paul ‘Bubbie’ Kingsbury

Oct 1991 – April 29, 2010

Bubbie passed quietly in the arms of his Gammie person at 9am this day. 

Bubbie has been known to be a kitty of many talents in his time.  He was a great tea-partier (and I don’t mean that in a political way).  He was known to play dress up with the best.  He even pulled off being show-and-tell once, not to mention swinging in the baby swing many times, and that was just his early years.

His greatest talents came in the area of friendship.  He was the greatest companion to a very special person, HIS person.  He helped raise her as she raised him.  Together they met all challenges together.  Last minute school projects were a specialty of his, though he usually wanted to help a bit too much (according to her loudly), that was just the leader in him, he wanted to direct the project.  Reading time was good too, as long as she shared the book.  He was known to osmosis the contents of a book by laying on it so he could discuss it with her later.  Sometimes a lap would suffice while she was reading, but that was entirely up to him.  Bed time… ‘Where’s my pillow?  Never mind, I’ll take yours!’ was heard from him often. 

When it came to meal time he had definite opinions.  Food for him was a strong opinion.  He preferred his spaghetti without sauce, usually.  Chicken and shrimp where definite favorites.  Lunch time was always good for soup or sandwiches, assuming the soup has meat for him, don’t worry about the sandwich; he was perfectly willing to help himself from the side closest to him.  Breakfast, no syrup on that waffle please. Doritos were a good snack.  You had to always keep in mind…. Sharing is good!  If you don’t think so, don’t turn your head cause Bubbie’ll help myself!  That was Bubbie! 

18 ½ is not young for a cat.  Actually it is OLD! He lived longer than his mother (17+ for her).  He lived his later years with dignity and grace.  ‘Get out of my way’, ‘I don’t care what you think’, and ‘that’s my spot’ were a few of his mottos in his later years.   

This is just a little of what was special about a special kitty…  written by the hacker of this blog, Grampie to Bubbie, dad to the blogger.

Good-bye to the best Bubbie in the world! You will never be forgotten!

Was that guy just carrying a machine gun?

I could really use a day off.  I do get to see "Hairspray" at Derby Dinner Playhouse tonight though, so that's fun and exciting.  I hope I don't sleep through it. 

Totally saw a guy walking down the street today with what appeared to my peripheral vision to be a black machine gun.  Which elicited a second look.  And an adrenaline rush.  Upon further inspection, the machine gun morphed into an umbrella.  But it was too late for my adrenal gland to stop and I was soon hyped up on adrenaline with no vans to stop (note the Twilight reference here).  My body was ready to race ahead of this crazed white-middle-aged, dress shirt wearing terrorist and save the whole city.  Although my body was ready to save the city, the city didn't really need saved.  It also probably isn't ready for me yet.  I take some getting used to. 

This abundance of adrenaline and lack of city to save led to abnormal twitching and fidgeting from me and jumping at every noise, even if said noise came from my shoe meeting the floor.  And I twitch and fidget a lot normally, so abnormal levels for me are serious business.  That was fine, except I had no work needing to be done, so I was lost in the internets, cracked out on adrenaline and no outlet for said energy.  Second problem is the now point.  Where all that nice adrenaline has been used up with my twitching and now I'm exhausted like I just ran a marathon.  So, thank you guy toting a machine gun that upon inspection from other humans disguises itself as an innocent looking umbrella. 

# 861 "South Carolina is home to the first tea farm in the U.S."
Really boring fact if you ask me.  My machine gun toting terrorist is seventeen times (at least) more interesting.

Things learned this past week:
* Hub is a horrible auction bid placer.  He only wanted to win one or two things at a silent auction at work.  We are now the proud owners of tickets to the Louisville Science Center, Tinseltown movie theater, Frazier History Museum, and the Creation Museum.
* Hub's co-workers are slowly catching on to is nerdiness.  The lady he picked is winnings up from asked what he wont again.  And then went "oh yea, you got all the museum tickets." haha
* Don't plan events.  Just don't do it.  Especially if you are a perfectionist and a procrastinator all in one. (Which I'm convinced is some cruel joke from God.)  Also don't do it if in general you do things well or above expectations.  Because the situation will probably follow the norm.  And now you're in deep crap because you will be in charge of everything.  Forever.
* Hub says some funny stuff sometimes.  Sunday in the middle of me bossing him around (he kept asking what I wanted him to do so it was okay) and getting everything for vow renewal for my in-laws, Hub goes "If I didn't think it would equal a lot of work for me, I'd tell you to start catering as a job."  haha.  I love you Hub.  Although, I think I could be an event planned.  They just wear those cool headset things and yell at people and boss everyone around.  Which I'm totally awesome at.  I love playing with (and usually breaking...see iFan blogs) fancy electronics, am great at bossing people around - have been practicing this for my entire life, and actually love yelling at people-just ask my color guard girls.  So if anyone knows how I would go about becoming an event planner, let me know.  We might have just discovered my calling in life.  About dang time. 
* Sharp knifes will cut you.  Especially once they get the taste of your blood.  They will come back for more.

i hate mondays.

I hate Mondays. They can crawl back under the rock they came from and never come back out. Sorry don't have time to talk about the fact, but I will at least give it to you. (That's what she said.)

#839. "A cucumber consists of 96% water."

No wonder they have no flavor. (That's what she said, again.)

Horse or Ho?

I was listening to the radio this morning and heard the greatest game ever. "Horse or Ho?". The DJs had someone on the line and they would read them a name and that person had to guess if it was a hores's name or a ho's name. I totally rocked the game. Of course I was just in my car playing along, but still, I beat the caller. I do live in the Louisville area and it's less then two weeks till Derby, which is what caused this game, but I'm thinking we could take this game to primetime and make some real money. Who wouldn't tune in for 30 minutes of horse or ho? We could also expand to other horizons like 'holiday candy or stripper' (in which candy cane would be exceptable for both), etc. It could air right after "Ha ha now you're poor". Which is another awesome game show. If you haven't heard the concept of this game show, go watch Daniel Tosh's first Comedy Central special. Now.

#908 "In Athens, Greece, a driver's license can be taken away by law if the driver is deemed either "unbathed" or "poorly dressed.""

Those Greeks are serious about cleanliness. They aren't screwing around. We couldn't have rules like that here. All Kentucky drivers would lose their licenses. Which actually might be a good thing.
Side note: I'm either losing my mind and hearing weird car horn/alarm sounds or something is going down outside. Either way, the noise is driving me crazy.

Sleep, who needs that?!

Hi. My brain decided it wanted to wake up at 4:22 a.m. today and keep me up for the next hour running through absolutely everything I need to do like two days ago. Including stuff I've forgotten to do, basically for my entire life. My brain made me feel like a real slacker. And then I was all tired when my alarm went off this morning. Dumb brain.

Side note: Being the planner of your family can lead to little to no sleep when you get to plan the big events for your loved ones. Don't say I haven't warned you.
Another side note: Windows Media Live Movie Maker is about to get drop kicked down the road. Why won't it just play full-screen?!!?!

#848. "Wild camels once ramed Arizon's deserts."
What's the difference between a wild camel and a unwild camel? Do wild camels flash the camera during spring break? Or is this a reference to some new form of cigarettes that grew legs and can now be hunted in Arizona? Did you know it's not really water, but fat, in a camel's hump? Now you do. Two facts in one day. That's your Tuesday special. And how do they prove that wild camels used to roam Arizona? Just because they found bones belonging to camels in Arizona (which I'm presuming is how they came up with this fact) doesn't mean they roamed free. The ancient Arizonians might have had a zoo in that area and that's where the camel's were kept. Maybe they have found cave paintings of the wild camels. That would be awesome - a cave painting of a wild camel flashing the painter. Crazy, drunk, spring break camels. Their parents will be so proud. And that's why you don't let teenage camels go to Florida unsupervised.

Good thing I haven't quit my day job.

I suck as a blogger. Three days without blogging?! Good thing I haven't quit my day job to earn money as a blogger. I'd be eating off the street by now. I could explain how I've actually had stuff to do at work, or got to leave early, and had to write guard work, and plan a vow renewal for my in-laws, etc. But it probably just sounds like bluh blah blah to your ears, so I won't waste my time.

#771. "Some dinosaurs were as small as chickens."
Duh Snapple. We've all seen "Jurassic Park: The Lost World". Those little chicken dinosaurs will eat the crap out of you. They are the ultimate gang. I bet the chicken dino gang could take out any gang we measly humans could conjure up. They'd be all "What, you have guns? Bring it. We have teeth, and millions of us, and we're super fast. Bring it!" Look at that. I just solved our country's gang problems. Actually the world's gang problems. Just pull some Crichton-esque magic and bring those chicken dino's back. We can call the chicken dino's gang the "CDG" (for chicken dino gang). Maybe we shouldn't call them that. It's a little close to the KGB. Naw, it'll be ok. The history classes in this country don't teach crap and the school systems pretty much stink so no one will get the connection. And if they do, we'll gas them. Haha. Get it. Too soon? Too soon.

Birds are nesting, trees are blooming, girls are whore-ing it up. It must be spring.

I am loving this weather. Cold weather and I don't get along. At all. I didn't post yesterday. What a loser. I was playing tax accountant all afternoon and didn't get a chance.

#731 (anyone else notice how many large numbers I keep getting?)
"There are over 2,000 different species of cactuses."

Interesting fact, Snapple. Here's my problem with that statement. Everyone knows that it is cacti, not cactuses. Even spellcheck had a problem with cactuses (and not with cacti, take that spellcheck!). And if you don't know that, go watch the Donkey Show 2 (I think-it might be the 1st movie, I don't remember) and you will learn that it's cacti, but you don't care because they hurt. For those that don't know, the Donkey Show is what I always referred to Jacka$$ as because I prefer to avoid cussing. And because it's always fun to have weird names for stuff so other people that don't know you but overhear (see eavesdrop) on your conversation get confused. That's what they get for being nosey. Says the nosey, people-watcher.

I was perusing the Snapple website the other day (hoping that I could order straight from the source, but no such luck) and discovered that they are having a contest for entries of the best Snapple Factoid, and the winner gets their fact on Snapple and like a year's supply of Snapple (they have no idea how much Snapple that is for me.). So, everyone go make entries, and then if you win, you can help supply me with Snapple.

Taylor Swift has multiple personalities

There, I said it. Go ahead, hate me, I don't mind. In my scientific, official opinion, Taylor Swift has DID (Dissociative Personality Disorder a.k.a. Multiple Personality Disorder). Here's my evidence.

Compare "Today was a Fairy Tale" versus "White Horse".
"Today was a fairytale, you were the prince" versus "I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale"

End of evidence. That's all that's needed. One song life isn't a fairy tale and the other song life is. She needs to be put into a padded cell for everyone's safety. That was my epiphany of the day.

Fact #905 "The side of a hammer is called a cheek."
That kinda makes sense. If part of the hammer is called the head, then the side of that is the cheek. Nothing funny coming to mind. I'm trying, I promise. But nothing is coming. So instead we'll do cute/funny pictures.


This is the monster in my shower.


This is Alice trying to free her good twin from the other side. (It's not her evil twin because I suspect she might be the evil one.)


Nala loves carrots.


You thought the monster in the shower was scary.


So many mousies, so little time.


Ahhhh!!! Popcorn slug monster!

And final pic.


Me and hub.

I wish I had butt hair.

Nice title, eh? You'll understand later, eh. I've decided to go Canadian for the day, eh. Haha, eh. Just kidding. I'm lazy and that's a lot of extra letter typing.

#701. "It takes more water to fill a bathtub than it does to enjoy an average-length shower."

Ok Snapple. What is the length of an average shower? Because Hub's average shower is like 7 minutes whereas mine is about 17 minutes. At least. That's because I have ridiculously long hair. As my sister-in-law so eloquently put it on Sunday.
sis-in-law: "Amanda, I love your hair. It's almost to your butt."
me: "I know. It needs cut."
sis-in-law: "I wish I had butt hair."
dustin (cousin): "You can have mine." <-- we were all thinking this response, but he was just the fastest to get it out. That's what she said.
sis-in-law (as everyone else is cracking up): "I didn't mean like that..."

I just came to the realization that Justin Timberlake can make any two words rhyme. In his new song he rhymes errors and areas. Go ahead, say them aloud. They do not rhyme. But when JT (my nickname for Justin-because we are so close we have nicknames for each other) uses them, he forces them to rhyme. With his sheer handsome-self-hot-body-crazy-good-dancer skills. He is like a word rhyming ninja. He could probably make a word rhyme with orange or purple or silver. What's with all the unrhymable words in English being colors? Spellcheck just informed me that unrhymable is misspelled but it has no suggestions. Maybe it's supposed to be imrhymable or inrhymable? Nope. It didn't like those either. Screw you spellcheck, I'm leaving them. Stupid spellcheck.

Side note: anyone else notice how much I personify inanimate objects? I bet that isn't healthy. I mean, how can spellcheck (the inanimate object) be stupid. That implies that spellcheck lacks intelligence, but inanimate objects can't be intelligent in the first place.

Double side note: I have no idea if personify is the real word I want, but it's what spellcheck suggested, so I'm going with it.

Triple side note: I explain stuff like I'm speaking to 2nd graders (see the explanation of what the inanimate object was-haha. I did it again). The reason is either that I'm used to that from my guard girls and work or if subconsciously that's my target audience. I hope that's not my target audience. I don't think 7 year olds understand that's what she said jokes.

two of 2: math and it's crazy love.

2 blogs in one day. What was I thinking.

Fact #812 "111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321"
Who doesn't love a little math fact? I love me some math. I am totally a math nerd. I have a math minor from college, for no reason other then the fact that I loved math and wanted to take some math classes. Who passed Calculus 3 with an A? This girl. With more total points then hub? This girl. (Take that hub!!) I just almost made a reference to a very horrible racial stereotype but was able to control myself. Cookie for me. I wish real life worked like multiply. Now your saying, it does, that's why we have multiplication. What I mean is that I wish I could take two cookies and multiple them by each other and get four instead of just two. Ok. That statement didnt make any sense. Let me better explain. I wish if I had two piles of three cookies in each pile (say Samoes), I could multiply those two piles together and get nine. But I can't. I can only add them together and get six. Which is not nearly as meaning as nine. And, that would knock those little monopolizing girl scouts off their pedestals. I thought monopolies were illegal?! They sell those dang things one time a year for like two days. And the girl scouts are harder to find then fairies if you don't have kids of your own. I just want to go to the elementary school playground and start waiving my money around begging for a girl scout but I would probably be arrested for being a creepy child stalker. At least I don't own a van. But seriously, those little brats are like the mafia with their cookies. And they jack the price every year, and cut down on the number of cookies in a box every year too. They are drug dealers. The shortest, cutest, best dressed, most well organized drug dealers I've ever met. How many drug dealers have I met? Remember (or just learn), that I work at a law office and before that worked at a court, so I've met more then the average person. I could hook you up if I really wanted. Except for with girl scout cookies. Because the two-day window is over. I think next year I am going to buy about a million dollars worth and freeze them. Side note: Edy's has girl scout cookie flavored ice cream (with pieces of the real cookies and everything)! I have a quart of Samoes ice cream in my freezer. And its delicious. And about three months later, when everyone just finished their last thin mint that they had been saving for two months and 30 days (because everyone knows the second you get the box you rip it open and devour almost all of those heavenly things until you realize that is all you have to last the next year and you feel guilty for leaving only one, besides the crumbs of the others that flew out of your mouth) is gone and they are jonesing for their cookie fix, I will pull my frozen cookies out, hit ebay, and make five million dollars. A day. I will jack those prices up higher then the girl scout cookies. I'll sell them in baggies. Like a drug dealer. Just cleaner, and less unhealthy (double negative=positive). I will run my own monopoly on girl scout cookies. And teach those little brat girl scouts a lesson or two. They will rue the day they withhold their cookies from me.

1 of two: lions, and tigers, and bears, oh my!

This is the first of two blogs for today, as promised yesterday.

#764 "The muzzle of a lion is like a fingerprint - no two lions have the same pattern of whiskers."

Totally awesomest fact yet. I heart me some lions (well, any cats in general. Remember, would be crazy cat lady without hub?). I wonder if the same is true for house cats. Because my cats are always terrorizing something when we're gone, and then we never have evidence to convict one of them, so we can't take it to jury trial for jail time. But, with muzzle prints we could enter a new, higher percentage of crime catching days in my house. I only have three cats, and Bubbie just lays around a lot so I'm usually 99% sure he wasn't the perpetrator. But that leaves two, sweet little monsters. Who are totally hard to punish because they are oso cute. (oso=bear in spanish. two random facts in one day! And the second didn't even come from Snapple. I'm just blowing your minds with knowledge. I apologize for any mind congestion this may cause.) I'll always remember oso=bear in spanish because of one of the girls in my Spanish 2 class. She said "I remember because the teddy bear is OH SO cute. Get it?" I also know muneca (with the little ~ over the n)=wrist and vaca=cow. But that's about all I got. So if you ever need to say your bear-cow's (or cow-bear) wrist, I'm the woman for you. Actually, probably not. Because I can never remember which comes first, or how to show possession. So if you need someone to just say the words cow, wrist, and bear in a row, I'm your person. Other then that, I'm of no use.
Anyways, back to the convicting of my sweet little angel monsters. It's hard to discipline them because they just look at you with their cute little faces and open their eyes extra big. Like this:

Then I'm all distracted with their cuteness and forget I was lecturing them on the mechanics of water bowls and the concept that water is not meant for the floor or that we don't eat stuff off the floor unless mommy put it there for them to eat or we eat bugs, we don't torture them for 20 minutes then kill them and leave the carcass there because it's no fun anymore.

This is the conversation hub and I had last night.
Me: I am really sick of these 26 songs on my stupid iFan. I wish I could get my songs back.
Hub: Just put all your CDs on the new laptop and sync it that way.
Me: I did that. On the old computer. And it took me 2 months, a least.
Hub: Oh. That sucks.

Gee, honey. Thanks. I know. And, remember, this is all your (and Steve Jobs) fault. And if you're not careful, some of those punishments for Mr. Jobs might happen to you. Especially something involving raptors. Because they are awesome. Or the little chicken raptors like in Lost World. They look all cute and tiny and innocent and then 10,000 eat you. Hub, you should probably sleep with one eye open from now on.

update

I don't have time to blog tonight. Brandon is working on his sermon for this weekend and the computer has 11 minutes on its battery left. But I promise to blog twice tomorrow, with today's and tomorrow's Snapple fact. Promise.

A Hacker Takes Over!

And a hacker takes over for a Slacker one day.....

First and foremost, getting ready to watch little Butler take on big Duke. Hopefully the little guy/underdog gets the win!

According to Facebook post, the Snapple fact of the day is 'The ridges on the sides of coins are called reeding or milling.' And I just thought the edges were for use with scratch off's. But 'reeding' seems to be a term from the Renaissance referring to ornamentation. Cool, did they use swords to do that. You've heard of shooting an apple off a head, but cutting ridges on the edge a coin with a sword, oops that's not good what I envisioned. Got bloody, never mind....

No fact number in case you are marking them all off. How many are there though? I started with a list of 1000, so not knowing the number really messes up my list.....

And she thought her husband is a nerd...

Speaking of no number, sorry but the last one was wrong.... It should have been 'The first bicycle was called a hobby horse.' And there is another one without a number. My list goes deeper into dismay...

Oh wait, this blog is supposed to be humorous.. Ok a joke... There once was a man from nantucket... Oh can't do that one.. Ok..

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a “Living Will”

"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all the beer.

Tell me you didn't laugh!

Well, I guess I've done enough damage.

GO BUTLER!!!!!

no snapple fact, but bored so blogging

I could probably do a fact if I really wanted to, but the fact is in the kitchen. And I'm not. And I'm lazy. And in pain. So I don't want to get up. So hahahaha. And Alice is laying on me so I don't want to disturb her cuteness.

Went to the chiropractor today. Had my first X-rays ever, besides by a dentist. Hope my insides didn't melt. Haven't seemed to die yet, so that's a great sign, I think. Go back Monday to go over x-rays and start treatment. Exciting news, uh?

I'm trying to think of something funny, but not working well under pressure. My computer is also flashing that it's about to die. I'm not good under pressure. IT'S RED ICING!!! You weren't there, you don't understand the pressure!!

I remember the Snapple fact I was going to use. Don't remember the number but it was "The first rocking horse was called a hobbyhorse."
I like rocking horses. They are fun. So are rocking chairs. I like to rock until you almost tip over. Adds a little excitement to live. Salim, where is Latika?

Capitalizing Letters For No Reason

I like capitalizing letters for no reason. It makes people wonder. Example:
Me via text msg: Hub (my new nick-name for Brandon on here, because Brandon is long to type out, and to provide him a little anonymity [side note: I totally spelled anonymity all by myself without spellcheck!]) can you bring home Basket?
Now Hub has to wonder if I have a new friend named Basket he needs to bring over, some strange brand name of something, or I'm just weird and capitalize letters for no reason.
Why Hub you ask? Well, husband is just as long as Brandon so that doesn't help, he doesn't like when I call him Brand so can't go with that one, Hubbie is almost as long as Brandon also, and Hub just seems to fit. Maybe I'll start calling him that in person too and see if he takes to it.
But, today is Friday!! Not by the calander, but by this-is-the-last-day-of-the-work-week standards, it's Friday. Which is uber-exciting! I can sleep in tomorrow and Saturday! Woo hoo!!!!! I my new bed!! But let's get to the Snapple fact and then I will tell you about my bed.

Fact #710. "A tankless water heater uses half the energy of a standard model."
Interesting to know Snapple. I don't even know what the difference is between the two. As long as my water is hot, I could really care less. But, this fact is pretty boring. It sounds more like an advertisement for appliances. Or like that commercial with the guy and, nevermind. It takes a lot of work to describe it on here, and you probably won't even remember it. I was hoping for a fun, inspiring fact today. But that's ok. I'll forgive you Snapple. I would have rather found out which color crayon is eaten most by Kindergartens or something. I guarantee it's not black. Because black always runs out first and they fight over it.

So, got the new bed yesterday. Went to bed last night. Super comfortable. Except for my back decided to start hurting again. It was like, "no, you don't want to sleep well in your new bed. That's silly. Instead, roll around all night in pain trying to find a comfortable position, which is impossible. Haha!" So that was my night. And so I hit the snooze like six times this morning. Fin.