No Snapple fact today because hub stole all the Snapple out of my car so he could put his stupid golf clubs in there.
We always go to Lexington, Kentucky (well, really Versailles but who is being that picky) on the fourth for a 'family reunion' thing with his mom's side of the family. And he and his dad are planning on going golfing sometime this weekend so no Snapple for me. :(
But I do have the Macbook from work. Which is kinda exciting. I think I might (if I can find time) start drawing fun and exciting pictures and/or adding fun additions to already existing pictures to liven up the blog. Because who doesn't love a picture book?
Early birthday present for me from Comedy Central. Stand-up basically all weekend starting yesterday at like 6 p.m. and running through Monday. Which is awesome!!!! I LOVE stand up. I already got to see some of my favorites - Danny Tosh, Brian Regan, Jeff Dunham, and Henry Cho. I was sad though because I only got to see like 5 minutes of Daniel because we were at dinner. When we got back and I turned the TV on and Tosh was on there, I was like a kid at Christmas and then when he went off 5 minutes later I was like a fat kid that ate the last donut - crying and depressed and throwing a fit for more. But that's ok, I basically have every one of his jokes memorized anyways. And Nick Swardson is coming up. He's a funny guy too. He has a joke about tigers and diarrhea.
Hub ate a double down from KFC today. Can I just say it was disgusting looking. I swear I could hear it taunting him with the words "heart attack...clogging...cholesterol". I gained three pounds just from looking at it. Let me just share some advice, stay away from those deathwiches.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Pass the pillow please
Eclipse came out last night!!!! I was definitely there at midnight to watch it. And back at work at 8am this morning. Which = very little sleep for me. Nap time after work today!!!
I was concerned about the movie, because Eclipse is my favorite book in the series and I didn't want them to ruin it. And I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't ruined at all. Hands down best movie so far. And they kept my favorite line from the whole series - "What happened Bella, you try to walk and chew gum at the same time again? No. I punched a werewolf in the face." And Charlie (Billy B.) gets a big kudos for being totally awesome. And Mr. Whitlock, be careful with that sexy accent. It could get you in trouble.
Since I haven't blogged in a long time, I'll give you two facts!
#821. "It takes an interaction of 72 muscles to produce human speech."
I wonder if they are counting the brain in there, because after some of the people I've talked to, I can guarantee not all people use that muscle to produce human speech. I would actually venture to say most people don't use that muscle. And I can guarantee it takes me more muscles. Because I talk with my hands. I think (and I'm sure many that know me would agree) that if you tied my hands down, I would have trouble speaking. I catch myself making crazy hand motions while talking on the phone, like that person can see my frantic airplane hailing.
#746. "The only insect that can turn its head is a praying mantis."
weird. It's official. Praying mantis are strange. Not only do they eat each other (and when I say eat each other, I mean the females chow down on the males - that will teach them to ignore the wife when she tells them to pick their socks up) and they can turn their head. But maybe that is what God gave them for such a faithful prayer life. Get it, they are PRAYING mantis. Haha. Sorry. Little sleep=bad pun Amanda. Who is not my favorite Amanda around. I much prefer delightfully witty Amanda or even slightly funny Amanda.
I was concerned about the movie, because Eclipse is my favorite book in the series and I didn't want them to ruin it. And I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't ruined at all. Hands down best movie so far. And they kept my favorite line from the whole series - "What happened Bella, you try to walk and chew gum at the same time again? No. I punched a werewolf in the face." And Charlie (Billy B.) gets a big kudos for being totally awesome. And Mr. Whitlock, be careful with that sexy accent. It could get you in trouble.
Since I haven't blogged in a long time, I'll give you two facts!
#821. "It takes an interaction of 72 muscles to produce human speech."
I wonder if they are counting the brain in there, because after some of the people I've talked to, I can guarantee not all people use that muscle to produce human speech. I would actually venture to say most people don't use that muscle. And I can guarantee it takes me more muscles. Because I talk with my hands. I think (and I'm sure many that know me would agree) that if you tied my hands down, I would have trouble speaking. I catch myself making crazy hand motions while talking on the phone, like that person can see my frantic airplane hailing.
#746. "The only insect that can turn its head is a praying mantis."
weird. It's official. Praying mantis are strange. Not only do they eat each other (and when I say eat each other, I mean the females chow down on the males - that will teach them to ignore the wife when she tells them to pick their socks up) and they can turn their head. But maybe that is what God gave them for such a faithful prayer life. Get it, they are PRAYING mantis. Haha. Sorry. Little sleep=bad pun Amanda. Who is not my favorite Amanda around. I much prefer delightfully witty Amanda or even slightly funny Amanda.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Life or something like it
I haven't had time to blog because I've been busying:
1. Enjoying Hell's Kitchen that is finally back on!!!
2. Reading The Wheel of Time series that my horrible father made me start reading. (He's really not horrible at all, but it's his fault I'm stuck in the world of reborn dragons and the One Power.)
3. Being 'duped' (if you ask hub's opinion on the situation) into getting an alarm system and now waiting to have it uninstalled.
4. Melting in the 90+ degree weather for the past like 17 years.
5. Marching band drama.
6. New kittens at my parents house.
7. All-out warfare on the spiders and ants trying to invade my country.
8. Playing camp counselor for 8th & 9th graders over the weekend.
I love the summer, because I like swimming and I'm normally cold all the time so the hot weather evens out my cold body tempature. Hub tells me that I'm a vampire because I'm cold all the time. So I tell him he is a werewolf because he is hot all the time. Speaking of vampires and werewolves, ECLIPSE IS NEXT WEEK!! I'm not excited or anything at all.
No Snapple fact today, sorry. I didn't even open my Snapple that I had for today so I'm saving it for tomorrow.
But on a serious note -
Please send your thoughts and prayers to Matt and Brandi, friends of ours and a couple from our church. They live a few houses away from us too, so they are also kinda our neighbors.
They lost their unborn son and found out Sunday night. Brandi had carried Boston for 37 weeks and became worried when she felt no movement and upon arriving at the hospital, Brandi and Matt were told their son, Boston, had died. Brandi delivered Boston about 2 p.m. Monday afternoon. Brandi and Matt were then blessed to be able to hug and kiss their son and say goodbye before Brandi was sent home from the hospital Monday night. This was their first child, and has been extremely difficult for them. Especially for Matt, losing his first-born son on father's day. They are a strong, faithful couple, and Boston and their strength in this difficult situation has already touched many life's. Please just send them your thoughts and prayers through these unbelievably difficult time. There will be a celebration service for Boston to be held tomorrow (thursday june 24) night at our church.
We got this news Monday morning, and it really hit us. They are around our age and don't have any children, with Boston to be their first. Hub and I don't have any kids, but will eventually, and I can't even fathom the pain Brandi and Matt are experiencing right now. It hurts my heart to think of their pain.
1. Enjoying Hell's Kitchen that is finally back on!!!
2. Reading The Wheel of Time series that my horrible father made me start reading. (He's really not horrible at all, but it's his fault I'm stuck in the world of reborn dragons and the One Power.)
3. Being 'duped' (if you ask hub's opinion on the situation) into getting an alarm system and now waiting to have it uninstalled.
4. Melting in the 90+ degree weather for the past like 17 years.
5. Marching band drama.
6. New kittens at my parents house.
7. All-out warfare on the spiders and ants trying to invade my country.
8. Playing camp counselor for 8th & 9th graders over the weekend.
I love the summer, because I like swimming and I'm normally cold all the time so the hot weather evens out my cold body tempature. Hub tells me that I'm a vampire because I'm cold all the time. So I tell him he is a werewolf because he is hot all the time. Speaking of vampires and werewolves, ECLIPSE IS NEXT WEEK!! I'm not excited or anything at all.
No Snapple fact today, sorry. I didn't even open my Snapple that I had for today so I'm saving it for tomorrow.
But on a serious note -
Please send your thoughts and prayers to Matt and Brandi, friends of ours and a couple from our church. They live a few houses away from us too, so they are also kinda our neighbors.
They lost their unborn son and found out Sunday night. Brandi had carried Boston for 37 weeks and became worried when she felt no movement and upon arriving at the hospital, Brandi and Matt were told their son, Boston, had died. Brandi delivered Boston about 2 p.m. Monday afternoon. Brandi and Matt were then blessed to be able to hug and kiss their son and say goodbye before Brandi was sent home from the hospital Monday night. This was their first child, and has been extremely difficult for them. Especially for Matt, losing his first-born son on father's day. They are a strong, faithful couple, and Boston and their strength in this difficult situation has already touched many life's. Please just send them your thoughts and prayers through these unbelievably difficult time. There will be a celebration service for Boston to be held tomorrow (thursday june 24) night at our church.
We got this news Monday morning, and it really hit us. They are around our age and don't have any children, with Boston to be their first. Hub and I don't have any kids, but will eventually, and I can't even fathom the pain Brandi and Matt are experiencing right now. It hurts my heart to think of their pain.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Not really a post.
This is not really a post. This is not the post you are looking for. *waves hand in front of your face* It has come to my attention that I have yet to resolve the cliffhanger from the last post. The answer is Daniel Tosh.
That's bad. Only posting a few sentences and still make a nerd reference (that's Star Wars for those non-nerds out there).
That's bad. Only posting a few sentences and still make a nerd reference (that's Star Wars for those non-nerds out there).
Thursday, June 3, 2010
I'm not dead.
I'm not dead. Just so you know. Just lazy.
Have two new flavors of Snapple to try. Tried one today - "Bret's Blend Tea Trop*A*Rocka". The Celebrity Apprentice themed Snapple. Not quite sure about this yet. It's not bad. Has a strange-ish taste that you have to get used to, but not completely disgusting. So to rate it on a scale of Snapple, it's no Snapple Apple but it also isn't as low as Diet Snapple Cranberry Raspberry. A hearty mediocre flavor.
It did repeat a fact thought, so that's a downside. I have a bag at home of every Snapple lid. And I know I've missed some. That's because even though I don't blog, I'm still drinking the Snapple daily. You hear that Snapple?! Sponsor my poor butt. Please.
Funny 'conversation' had last night:
Setting: Hub and I are sitting (ok, Hub is sitting and I'm laying because 1. I'm lazy and 2. that couch is dang comfortable!!!) watching Jeopardy.
Alex T.: "...insert answer here that I don't remember but I know the category was something like my "f"oods - meaning they were looking for foods that started with f"
Me: "FABRICATION! -half second pause- What? I don't know."
Hub: "did you just have a conversation with yourself?"
Me: "possibly."
Hub then proceeded to re-enact a Smegel scene from LOTR (for those none nerds out there, that means lord of the rings)
This is a normal thing for me. Well, the me answering myself or correcting myself, but it usually happens all in my head so other humans don't realize how weird I really am. Now you know.
Side note: I will be traveling to Indianapolis on November 9, 2010, with or without someone else. I will hitchhike if necessary. Why, you may ask? Only because my favorite person is going to be there. Ok maybe not all-time favorite, but close. And I didn't get to see him last time he was here, so by gosh, I'm going this time. Even if I have to walk all the way there. Don't know yet? Here's a hint. He knows the true story of where Octoberfest came from. And I've talked about him before in a blog. Still don't know? I'll reveal the answer tomorrow.
How about that for a cliff hanger Lost?! Take that!
Have two new flavors of Snapple to try. Tried one today - "Bret's Blend Tea Trop*A*Rocka". The Celebrity Apprentice themed Snapple. Not quite sure about this yet. It's not bad. Has a strange-ish taste that you have to get used to, but not completely disgusting. So to rate it on a scale of Snapple, it's no Snapple Apple but it also isn't as low as Diet Snapple Cranberry Raspberry. A hearty mediocre flavor.
It did repeat a fact thought, so that's a downside. I have a bag at home of every Snapple lid. And I know I've missed some. That's because even though I don't blog, I'm still drinking the Snapple daily. You hear that Snapple?! Sponsor my poor butt. Please.
Funny 'conversation' had last night:
Setting: Hub and I are sitting (ok, Hub is sitting and I'm laying because 1. I'm lazy and 2. that couch is dang comfortable!!!) watching Jeopardy.
Alex T.: "...insert answer here that I don't remember but I know the category was something like my "f"oods - meaning they were looking for foods that started with f"
Me: "FABRICATION! -half second pause- What? I don't know."
Hub: "did you just have a conversation with yourself?"
Me: "possibly."
Hub then proceeded to re-enact a Smegel scene from LOTR (for those none nerds out there, that means lord of the rings)
This is a normal thing for me. Well, the me answering myself or correcting myself, but it usually happens all in my head so other humans don't realize how weird I really am. Now you know.
Side note: I will be traveling to Indianapolis on November 9, 2010, with or without someone else. I will hitchhike if necessary. Why, you may ask? Only because my favorite person is going to be there. Ok maybe not all-time favorite, but close. And I didn't get to see him last time he was here, so by gosh, I'm going this time. Even if I have to walk all the way there. Don't know yet? Here's a hint. He knows the true story of where Octoberfest came from. And I've talked about him before in a blog. Still don't know? I'll reveal the answer tomorrow.
How about that for a cliff hanger Lost?! Take that!
Friday, May 21, 2010
Groceries, graduation, and grandma
This weekend is brought to us by the letter G. My plans for the weekend are as follows: Grocery shopping tomorrow morning. Graduation party tomorrow afternoon/night. And going to see my Grandma Sunday.
What's the first three words you can think of that start with the letter G? I thought of greed, giddy-up, and gesundheit. Don't ask me why. The only one I have half of an excuse for is greed. Because I was listening to a Creed song at the time. (Get it, creed and greed rhyme?)
Fact # 738. "There are more species of fish in the Amazon river than in the Atlantic ocean."
Is the Amazon river really polluted, causing numerous mutations of crazy-scary seventeen finned fish? Would a crazy-scary seventeen finned fish count as a new species? Or is the Amazon river filled with crazy horny fish that fornicate with all kinds of other fish, not caring about inter-species mutations? There's all kinds of turanihas (tuna + piranha) or pircanda (piranha + anaconda) and crap like that swimming around? (I only did two combos because I don't know what other kinds of fish swim in the Amazon river. I don't even know if anacondas are in that river, but I think that is the river the movie was set on.)
I am officially a drug dealer. For my cats. They are addicted to the nip. I feel like a horrible mommy. I should have been warning them against the nip, and instead, I'm their pusher. I had the container out yesterday and Alice climbed my leg trying to get some. The whole while screaming at the top of her lungs like I couldn't hear her or feel her claws in my leg.
I almost impaled a guy with my phone received today. But I resisted. It was really hard to hold back, but I did. I should get a medal. Or candy. Or something exciting like that.
What's the first three words you can think of that start with the letter G? I thought of greed, giddy-up, and gesundheit. Don't ask me why. The only one I have half of an excuse for is greed. Because I was listening to a Creed song at the time. (Get it, creed and greed rhyme?)
Fact # 738. "There are more species of fish in the Amazon river than in the Atlantic ocean."
Is the Amazon river really polluted, causing numerous mutations of crazy-scary seventeen finned fish? Would a crazy-scary seventeen finned fish count as a new species? Or is the Amazon river filled with crazy horny fish that fornicate with all kinds of other fish, not caring about inter-species mutations? There's all kinds of turanihas (tuna + piranha) or pircanda (piranha + anaconda) and crap like that swimming around? (I only did two combos because I don't know what other kinds of fish swim in the Amazon river. I don't even know if anacondas are in that river, but I think that is the river the movie was set on.)
I am officially a drug dealer. For my cats. They are addicted to the nip. I feel like a horrible mommy. I should have been warning them against the nip, and instead, I'm their pusher. I had the container out yesterday and Alice climbed my leg trying to get some. The whole while screaming at the top of her lungs like I couldn't hear her or feel her claws in my leg.
I almost impaled a guy with my phone received today. But I resisted. It was really hard to hold back, but I did. I should get a medal. Or candy. Or something exciting like that.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Two days in a row?! I'm on a record!
WICKED IS TONIGHT?!?!?!?!
I'm only a little excited.
But seriously, if I have to deal with one more nincompoop (not quite sure how to spell it, but I think you get it - note: just spell checked it and that is what spell check gave me. who knew nincompoop was in spell checks dictionary) today, I might commit murder. But don't worry, I know a few good lawyers.
On to better news, I totally got a Vera Wang dress yesterday from Kohl's for $2.91. That's right folks, for less then $3!!! I was soo excited. It's really cute and perfect. I'm wearing it to Wicked tonight. Go bargain shopping!!
Ok, Snapple fact time
# 883. "Butterflies taste with their hind feet."
That's just creepy butterflies. Everytime I see a butterfly sitting on a flower now, I'm going to think about that. No wonder butterflies have to look so pretty, so they don't creep people out with how they smell. So when someone hears their creepy little secret they aren't like "Oh, bless their souls", instead they are like "well, at least they are really pretty. They do have that going for them." It's the same reason unicorns poop rainbows. Because people think unicorns look really silly with that horn sticking out of their forehead, but the pooping rainbows thing really helps their public appeal. I have discovered a really good flavor though. I think I might have mentioned it before. It's called "Snapple Apple". It's like biting into a juicy, just ripe enough apple. Even smells like it - the smell has a hint of apple peel to it and everything! Yea for good Snapple.
What Amanda learned today:
* Don't let a lawyer on your computer. They will probably break something. I witnessed a lawyer break the court's computer today. It was rather funny actually.
* I really hate idiots. Me and stupidity don't mix well.
I'm only a little excited.
But seriously, if I have to deal with one more nincompoop (not quite sure how to spell it, but I think you get it - note: just spell checked it and that is what spell check gave me. who knew nincompoop was in spell checks dictionary) today, I might commit murder. But don't worry, I know a few good lawyers.
On to better news, I totally got a Vera Wang dress yesterday from Kohl's for $2.91. That's right folks, for less then $3!!! I was soo excited. It's really cute and perfect. I'm wearing it to Wicked tonight. Go bargain shopping!!
Ok, Snapple fact time
# 883. "Butterflies taste with their hind feet."
That's just creepy butterflies. Everytime I see a butterfly sitting on a flower now, I'm going to think about that. No wonder butterflies have to look so pretty, so they don't creep people out with how they smell. So when someone hears their creepy little secret they aren't like "Oh, bless their souls", instead they are like "well, at least they are really pretty. They do have that going for them." It's the same reason unicorns poop rainbows. Because people think unicorns look really silly with that horn sticking out of their forehead, but the pooping rainbows thing really helps their public appeal. I have discovered a really good flavor though. I think I might have mentioned it before. It's called "Snapple Apple". It's like biting into a juicy, just ripe enough apple. Even smells like it - the smell has a hint of apple peel to it and everything! Yea for good Snapple.
What Amanda learned today:
* Don't let a lawyer on your computer. They will probably break something. I witnessed a lawyer break the court's computer today. It was rather funny actually.
* I really hate idiots. Me and stupidity don't mix well.
Monday, May 17, 2010
No wizard that there is or was...
Oh yea, just threw down some Wicked lyrics. SOOOOO excited about seeing to tomorrow on like 8th row!!!!!! I'm totally spoiled by hub. He does not like musicals. At all. Especially ones that he already knows the music to because his crazy wife listens to the soundtrack all the time. He says he is going to stand up in the middle of a quiet, dramatic part and start belting out "we're off to see the wizard...". And I swear I will knock him out if he does that.
For a couple reasons:
1. He kinda sucks at singing so I will need to rescue the other theater goers from his horrid singing 'skills'.
2. It's Wicked, and you don't mess with that stuff. You just don't.
3. So that rest of the audience will think I'm not with him, I was just the caped superhero that saved the show and shut him up. Just without the cape, or cool side-kick, or cool face mask. Basically the only reason I'm a superhero in this instance is that I say I am.
But seriously. I can't wait for tomorrow!! It's like Christmas morning. I probably won't be able to sleep tonight. I guess I'll just read my Wicked book while not sleeping tonight.
Side note: Hub and I had to go to Louisville for 'wellness testing' at his work at 9:30a.m. Saturday (way too freaking early to be up on a Saturday), so I got to go to the used book store. (used book store=Amanda's heaven.) (They are having a 20% off everything sale Memorial Day. Feel free to donate to the 'Amanda always needs more books and Brandon doesn't make enough money to support her addiction' fund.) I purchased the original Wicked book because I've been wanting to re-read it for years. I read it in high school, loved it, and then loaned it to a 'friend' who never returned it. So now I have a new-to-me copy again and am reading it. Again.
Snapple fact time!
# 866. "Abraham Lincoln was the tallest U.S. President at 6'4". James Madison was the shortest at 5'4"."
That's until I'm voted president in roughly 13 years. (I will be 36/37 - therefore I will be the shortest, youngest, and probably first woman.) I will be an awesome president. Maybe a little ADHD, but that's ok. I'm only uber distracted by penguins and spongebob and twilight. Shiny things only affect me sometimes. Whereas Lincoln was for sure full on ADHD. Where's my evidence? I don't really have any. It just sounds good. When I become president, I am outlawing high heels, making Friday an official weekend day (because 2:5 ratio of weekend:work week ratio is just too uneven), and who else knows what awesome laws I will help push through Congress. Can I count on your vote?
For a couple reasons:
1. He kinda sucks at singing so I will need to rescue the other theater goers from his horrid singing 'skills'.
2. It's Wicked, and you don't mess with that stuff. You just don't.
3. So that rest of the audience will think I'm not with him, I was just the caped superhero that saved the show and shut him up. Just without the cape, or cool side-kick, or cool face mask. Basically the only reason I'm a superhero in this instance is that I say I am.
But seriously. I can't wait for tomorrow!! It's like Christmas morning. I probably won't be able to sleep tonight. I guess I'll just read my Wicked book while not sleeping tonight.
Side note: Hub and I had to go to Louisville for 'wellness testing' at his work at 9:30a.m. Saturday (way too freaking early to be up on a Saturday), so I got to go to the used book store. (used book store=Amanda's heaven.) (They are having a 20% off everything sale Memorial Day. Feel free to donate to the 'Amanda always needs more books and Brandon doesn't make enough money to support her addiction' fund.) I purchased the original Wicked book because I've been wanting to re-read it for years. I read it in high school, loved it, and then loaned it to a 'friend' who never returned it. So now I have a new-to-me copy again and am reading it. Again.
Snapple fact time!
# 866. "Abraham Lincoln was the tallest U.S. President at 6'4". James Madison was the shortest at 5'4"."
That's until I'm voted president in roughly 13 years. (I will be 36/37 - therefore I will be the shortest, youngest, and probably first woman.) I will be an awesome president. Maybe a little ADHD, but that's ok. I'm only uber distracted by penguins and spongebob and twilight. Shiny things only affect me sometimes. Whereas Lincoln was for sure full on ADHD. Where's my evidence? I don't really have any. It just sounds good. When I become president, I am outlawing high heels, making Friday an official weekend day (because 2:5 ratio of weekend:work week ratio is just too uneven), and who else knows what awesome laws I will help push through Congress. Can I count on your vote?
Monday, May 10, 2010
Another Monday runs us over. Did anyone get that license plate number?!
Another Monday is here. Kicking our butts again. Is it Friday yet? I think this whole 5 day work week 2 day weekend thing is totally lopsided. I think the representative for weekends was too busy out getting drunk when they were splitting days up so the weekend got screwed over. Gee thanks drunk weekend representative dude! Hope you're proud of yourself. We all suffer now because of your irresponsibility.
Congrats to all those 2010 IUS grads that are walking today! Good job! Welcome to the realization that no one cares about your degree, only that you have one!
I don't know if this fact is a repeat or not. It sounds vaguely familiar but I am kinda out of it today so I might be imagining things.
#910. "Less than 2% of the water on Earth is fresh."
The rest is less then fresh? Buy it some deodorant or feminie products! You have to admit, that sounds like the beginning of a commercial for some strange feminine product. "Less than 2% of the water on Earth is fresh, leaving more then 98% of water on Earth being less then fresh. Well, when your water is feeling less then fresh, buy it the new and improved Biostat 3!" Side note: how can something be new and improved? It has to be one or the other.
To close out, I'd like to give a big shout out to Rocky's in Jeffersonville. Here goes - YOU SUCK!! HIRE BETTER WAITRESSES!!! AND SMARTER HOSTESSES!!!! And your food doesn't even compare to Olive Garden. Ok, I'm done.
And, if anyone didn't know, someone's *raises hand and starts jumping up and down* birthday is coming up in a little over two months. So for those of you who have no idea what to purchase such an awesome birthday girl let me give you a little idea:
Amanda's birthday present
Congrats to all those 2010 IUS grads that are walking today! Good job! Welcome to the realization that no one cares about your degree, only that you have one!
I don't know if this fact is a repeat or not. It sounds vaguely familiar but I am kinda out of it today so I might be imagining things.
#910. "Less than 2% of the water on Earth is fresh."
The rest is less then fresh? Buy it some deodorant or feminie products! You have to admit, that sounds like the beginning of a commercial for some strange feminine product. "Less than 2% of the water on Earth is fresh, leaving more then 98% of water on Earth being less then fresh. Well, when your water is feeling less then fresh, buy it the new and improved Biostat 3!" Side note: how can something be new and improved? It has to be one or the other.
To close out, I'd like to give a big shout out to Rocky's in Jeffersonville. Here goes - YOU SUCK!! HIRE BETTER WAITRESSES!!! AND SMARTER HOSTESSES!!!! And your food doesn't even compare to Olive Garden. Ok, I'm done.
And, if anyone didn't know, someone's *raises hand and starts jumping up and down* birthday is coming up in a little over two months. So for those of you who have no idea what to purchase such an awesome birthday girl let me give you a little idea:
Amanda's birthday present
Friday, May 7, 2010
Nala, stop raping the carrots!
I haven't blogged in a week. Just haven't really felt that funny, or inspired, or had any good Snapple facts. I didn't work last Friday or Tuesday so no Snapple that day and last Thursday I only worked until 3. Nothing super awesomely funny has happened today. but I do have one funny convo hub and I had the other night.
Situation set-up: Hub is in recliner, I'm on couch with bag of baby carrots and cup 'o ranch, eating the carrots. Nala is attacking the bag of carrots because for some unknown reason, she loves bags of carrots (see earlier post with picture of her with a bag of carrots).
Hub: "Nala! Stop raping the carrots!"
Me: "How do you know it's rape? They could be consenting carrots. You just don't speak carrot so you don't know."
Hub: "Carrots aren't mature enough to consent. So it's obviously rape."
Me: "How do you know how carrots age? They could be of consenting age."
Hub: "AMANDA! They are BABY carrots."
Me: "Touche Hub, touche. Nala! Stop raping the carrots!"
During the whole conversation, and even after, Nala continued to rape the carrots. Even going as far as sticking her head in the bag and rolling all around. It was rather cute. She was acting like she was on cat nip, just without the nip.
Oh yea, and today's fact is:
#702: "On average, a laptop uses half as much energy as a desktop computer."
Snapple, why do you assume your consumers care about energy and it's conservation? I would much rather have a fact about velcoraptors or jungles or tooth fungus or Ebola, almost anything but energy.
Situation set-up: Hub is in recliner, I'm on couch with bag of baby carrots and cup 'o ranch, eating the carrots. Nala is attacking the bag of carrots because for some unknown reason, she loves bags of carrots (see earlier post with picture of her with a bag of carrots).
Hub: "Nala! Stop raping the carrots!"
Me: "How do you know it's rape? They could be consenting carrots. You just don't speak carrot so you don't know."
Hub: "Carrots aren't mature enough to consent. So it's obviously rape."
Me: "How do you know how carrots age? They could be of consenting age."
Hub: "AMANDA! They are BABY carrots."
Me: "Touche Hub, touche. Nala! Stop raping the carrots!"
During the whole conversation, and even after, Nala continued to rape the carrots. Even going as far as sticking her head in the bag and rolling all around. It was rather cute. She was acting like she was on cat nip, just without the nip.
Oh yea, and today's fact is:
#702: "On average, a laptop uses half as much energy as a desktop computer."
Snapple, why do you assume your consumers care about energy and it's conservation? I would much rather have a fact about velcoraptors or jungles or tooth fungus or Ebola, almost anything but energy.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Jessie Paul ‘Bubbie’ Kingsbury
Oct 1991 – April 29, 2010
Bubbie passed quietly in the arms of his Gammie person at 9am this day.
Bubbie has been known to be a kitty of many talents in his time. He was a great tea-partier (and I don’t mean that in a political way). He was known to play dress up with the best. He even pulled off being show-and-tell once, not to mention swinging in the baby swing many times, and that was just his early years.
His greatest talents came in the area of friendship. He was the greatest companion to a very special person, HIS person. He helped raise her as she raised him. Together they met all challenges together. Last minute school projects were a specialty of his, though he usually wanted to help a bit too much (according to her loudly), that was just the leader in him, he wanted to direct the project. Reading time was good too, as long as she shared the book. He was known to osmosis the contents of a book by laying on it so he could discuss it with her later. Sometimes a lap would suffice while she was reading, but that was entirely up to him. Bed time… ‘Where’s my pillow? Never mind, I’ll take yours!’ was heard from him often.
When it came to meal time he had definite opinions. Food for him was a strong opinion. He preferred his spaghetti without sauce, usually. Chicken and shrimp where definite favorites. Lunch time was always good for soup or sandwiches, assuming the soup has meat for him, don’t worry about the sandwich; he was perfectly willing to help himself from the side closest to him. Breakfast, no syrup on that waffle please. Doritos were a good snack. You had to always keep in mind…. Sharing is good! If you don’t think so, don’t turn your head cause Bubbie’ll help myself! That was Bubbie!
18 ½ is not young for a cat. Actually it is OLD! He lived longer than his mother (17+ for her). He lived his later years with dignity and grace. ‘Get out of my way’, ‘I don’t care what you think’, and ‘that’s my spot’ were a few of his mottos in his later years.
This is just a little of what was special about a special kitty… written by the hacker of this blog, Grampie to Bubbie, dad to the blogger.
Good-bye to the best Bubbie in the world! You will never be forgotten!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Was that guy just carrying a machine gun?
I could really use a day off. I do get to see "Hairspray" at Derby Dinner Playhouse tonight though, so that's fun and exciting. I hope I don't sleep through it.
Totally saw a guy walking down the street today with what appeared to my peripheral vision to be a black machine gun. Which elicited a second look. And an adrenaline rush. Upon further inspection, the machine gun morphed into an umbrella. But it was too late for my adrenal gland to stop and I was soon hyped up on adrenaline with no vans to stop (note the Twilight reference here). My body was ready to race ahead of this crazed white-middle-aged, dress shirt wearing terrorist and save the whole city. Although my body was ready to save the city, the city didn't really need saved. It also probably isn't ready for me yet. I take some getting used to.
This abundance of adrenaline and lack of city to save led to abnormal twitching and fidgeting from me and jumping at every noise, even if said noise came from my shoe meeting the floor. And I twitch and fidget a lot normally, so abnormal levels for me are serious business. That was fine, except I had no work needing to be done, so I was lost in the internets, cracked out on adrenaline and no outlet for said energy. Second problem is the now point. Where all that nice adrenaline has been used up with my twitching and now I'm exhausted like I just ran a marathon. So, thank you guy toting a machine gun that upon inspection from other humans disguises itself as an innocent looking umbrella.
# 861 "South Carolina is home to the first tea farm in the U.S."
Really boring fact if you ask me. My machine gun toting terrorist is seventeen times (at least) more interesting.
Things learned this past week:
* Hub is a horrible auction bid placer. He only wanted to win one or two things at a silent auction at work. We are now the proud owners of tickets to the Louisville Science Center, Tinseltown movie theater, Frazier History Museum, and the Creation Museum.
* Hub's co-workers are slowly catching on to is nerdiness. The lady he picked is winnings up from asked what he wont again. And then went "oh yea, you got all the museum tickets." haha
* Don't plan events. Just don't do it. Especially if you are a perfectionist and a procrastinator all in one. (Which I'm convinced is some cruel joke from God.) Also don't do it if in general you do things well or above expectations. Because the situation will probably follow the norm. And now you're in deep crap because you will be in charge of everything. Forever.
* Hub says some funny stuff sometimes. Sunday in the middle of me bossing him around (he kept asking what I wanted him to do so it was okay) and getting everything for vow renewal for my in-laws, Hub goes "If I didn't think it would equal a lot of work for me, I'd tell you to start catering as a job." haha. I love you Hub. Although, I think I could be an event planned. They just wear those cool headset things and yell at people and boss everyone around. Which I'm totally awesome at. I love playing with (and usually breaking...see iFan blogs) fancy electronics, am great at bossing people around - have been practicing this for my entire life, and actually love yelling at people-just ask my color guard girls. So if anyone knows how I would go about becoming an event planner, let me know. We might have just discovered my calling in life. About dang time.
* Sharp knifes will cut you. Especially once they get the taste of your blood. They will come back for more.
Totally saw a guy walking down the street today with what appeared to my peripheral vision to be a black machine gun. Which elicited a second look. And an adrenaline rush. Upon further inspection, the machine gun morphed into an umbrella. But it was too late for my adrenal gland to stop and I was soon hyped up on adrenaline with no vans to stop (note the Twilight reference here). My body was ready to race ahead of this crazed white-middle-aged, dress shirt wearing terrorist and save the whole city. Although my body was ready to save the city, the city didn't really need saved. It also probably isn't ready for me yet. I take some getting used to.
This abundance of adrenaline and lack of city to save led to abnormal twitching and fidgeting from me and jumping at every noise, even if said noise came from my shoe meeting the floor. And I twitch and fidget a lot normally, so abnormal levels for me are serious business. That was fine, except I had no work needing to be done, so I was lost in the internets, cracked out on adrenaline and no outlet for said energy. Second problem is the now point. Where all that nice adrenaline has been used up with my twitching and now I'm exhausted like I just ran a marathon. So, thank you guy toting a machine gun that upon inspection from other humans disguises itself as an innocent looking umbrella.
# 861 "South Carolina is home to the first tea farm in the U.S."
Really boring fact if you ask me. My machine gun toting terrorist is seventeen times (at least) more interesting.
Things learned this past week:
* Hub is a horrible auction bid placer. He only wanted to win one or two things at a silent auction at work. We are now the proud owners of tickets to the Louisville Science Center, Tinseltown movie theater, Frazier History Museum, and the Creation Museum.
* Hub's co-workers are slowly catching on to is nerdiness. The lady he picked is winnings up from asked what he wont again. And then went "oh yea, you got all the museum tickets." haha
* Don't plan events. Just don't do it. Especially if you are a perfectionist and a procrastinator all in one. (Which I'm convinced is some cruel joke from God.) Also don't do it if in general you do things well or above expectations. Because the situation will probably follow the norm. And now you're in deep crap because you will be in charge of everything. Forever.
* Hub says some funny stuff sometimes. Sunday in the middle of me bossing him around (he kept asking what I wanted him to do so it was okay) and getting everything for vow renewal for my in-laws, Hub goes "If I didn't think it would equal a lot of work for me, I'd tell you to start catering as a job." haha. I love you Hub. Although, I think I could be an event planned. They just wear those cool headset things and yell at people and boss everyone around. Which I'm totally awesome at. I love playing with (and usually breaking...see iFan blogs) fancy electronics, am great at bossing people around - have been practicing this for my entire life, and actually love yelling at people-just ask my color guard girls. So if anyone knows how I would go about becoming an event planner, let me know. We might have just discovered my calling in life. About dang time.
* Sharp knifes will cut you. Especially once they get the taste of your blood. They will come back for more.
Monday, April 26, 2010
i hate mondays.
I hate Mondays. They can crawl back under the rock they came from and never come back out. Sorry don't have time to talk about the fact, but I will at least give it to you. (That's what she said.)
#839. "A cucumber consists of 96% water."
No wonder they have no flavor. (That's what she said, again.)
#839. "A cucumber consists of 96% water."
No wonder they have no flavor. (That's what she said, again.)
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Horse or Ho?
I was listening to the radio this morning and heard the greatest game ever. "Horse or Ho?". The DJs had someone on the line and they would read them a name and that person had to guess if it was a hores's name or a ho's name. I totally rocked the game. Of course I was just in my car playing along, but still, I beat the caller. I do live in the Louisville area and it's less then two weeks till Derby, which is what caused this game, but I'm thinking we could take this game to primetime and make some real money. Who wouldn't tune in for 30 minutes of horse or ho? We could also expand to other horizons like 'holiday candy or stripper' (in which candy cane would be exceptable for both), etc. It could air right after "Ha ha now you're poor". Which is another awesome game show. If you haven't heard the concept of this game show, go watch Daniel Tosh's first Comedy Central special. Now.
#908 "In Athens, Greece, a driver's license can be taken away by law if the driver is deemed either "unbathed" or "poorly dressed.""
Those Greeks are serious about cleanliness. They aren't screwing around. We couldn't have rules like that here. All Kentucky drivers would lose their licenses. Which actually might be a good thing.
Side note: I'm either losing my mind and hearing weird car horn/alarm sounds or something is going down outside. Either way, the noise is driving me crazy.
#908 "In Athens, Greece, a driver's license can be taken away by law if the driver is deemed either "unbathed" or "poorly dressed.""
Those Greeks are serious about cleanliness. They aren't screwing around. We couldn't have rules like that here. All Kentucky drivers would lose their licenses. Which actually might be a good thing.
Side note: I'm either losing my mind and hearing weird car horn/alarm sounds or something is going down outside. Either way, the noise is driving me crazy.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Sleep, who needs that?!
Hi. My brain decided it wanted to wake up at 4:22 a.m. today and keep me up for the next hour running through absolutely everything I need to do like two days ago. Including stuff I've forgotten to do, basically for my entire life. My brain made me feel like a real slacker. And then I was all tired when my alarm went off this morning. Dumb brain.
Side note: Being the planner of your family can lead to little to no sleep when you get to plan the big events for your loved ones. Don't say I haven't warned you.
Another side note: Windows Media Live Movie Maker is about to get drop kicked down the road. Why won't it just play full-screen?!!?!
#848. "Wild camels once ramed Arizon's deserts."
What's the difference between a wild camel and a unwild camel? Do wild camels flash the camera during spring break? Or is this a reference to some new form of cigarettes that grew legs and can now be hunted in Arizona? Did you know it's not really water, but fat, in a camel's hump? Now you do. Two facts in one day. That's your Tuesday special. And how do they prove that wild camels used to roam Arizona? Just because they found bones belonging to camels in Arizona (which I'm presuming is how they came up with this fact) doesn't mean they roamed free. The ancient Arizonians might have had a zoo in that area and that's where the camel's were kept. Maybe they have found cave paintings of the wild camels. That would be awesome - a cave painting of a wild camel flashing the painter. Crazy, drunk, spring break camels. Their parents will be so proud. And that's why you don't let teenage camels go to Florida unsupervised.
Side note: Being the planner of your family can lead to little to no sleep when you get to plan the big events for your loved ones. Don't say I haven't warned you.
Another side note: Windows Media Live Movie Maker is about to get drop kicked down the road. Why won't it just play full-screen?!!?!
#848. "Wild camels once ramed Arizon's deserts."
What's the difference between a wild camel and a unwild camel? Do wild camels flash the camera during spring break? Or is this a reference to some new form of cigarettes that grew legs and can now be hunted in Arizona? Did you know it's not really water, but fat, in a camel's hump? Now you do. Two facts in one day. That's your Tuesday special. And how do they prove that wild camels used to roam Arizona? Just because they found bones belonging to camels in Arizona (which I'm presuming is how they came up with this fact) doesn't mean they roamed free. The ancient Arizonians might have had a zoo in that area and that's where the camel's were kept. Maybe they have found cave paintings of the wild camels. That would be awesome - a cave painting of a wild camel flashing the painter. Crazy, drunk, spring break camels. Their parents will be so proud. And that's why you don't let teenage camels go to Florida unsupervised.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Good thing I haven't quit my day job.
I suck as a blogger. Three days without blogging?! Good thing I haven't quit my day job to earn money as a blogger. I'd be eating off the street by now. I could explain how I've actually had stuff to do at work, or got to leave early, and had to write guard work, and plan a vow renewal for my in-laws, etc. But it probably just sounds like bluh blah blah to your ears, so I won't waste my time.
#771. "Some dinosaurs were as small as chickens."
Duh Snapple. We've all seen "Jurassic Park: The Lost World". Those little chicken dinosaurs will eat the crap out of you. They are the ultimate gang. I bet the chicken dino gang could take out any gang we measly humans could conjure up. They'd be all "What, you have guns? Bring it. We have teeth, and millions of us, and we're super fast. Bring it!" Look at that. I just solved our country's gang problems. Actually the world's gang problems. Just pull some Crichton-esque magic and bring those chicken dino's back. We can call the chicken dino's gang the "CDG" (for chicken dino gang). Maybe we shouldn't call them that. It's a little close to the KGB. Naw, it'll be ok. The history classes in this country don't teach crap and the school systems pretty much stink so no one will get the connection. And if they do, we'll gas them. Haha. Get it. Too soon? Too soon.
#771. "Some dinosaurs were as small as chickens."
Duh Snapple. We've all seen "Jurassic Park: The Lost World". Those little chicken dinosaurs will eat the crap out of you. They are the ultimate gang. I bet the chicken dino gang could take out any gang we measly humans could conjure up. They'd be all "What, you have guns? Bring it. We have teeth, and millions of us, and we're super fast. Bring it!" Look at that. I just solved our country's gang problems. Actually the world's gang problems. Just pull some Crichton-esque magic and bring those chicken dino's back. We can call the chicken dino's gang the "CDG" (for chicken dino gang). Maybe we shouldn't call them that. It's a little close to the KGB. Naw, it'll be ok. The history classes in this country don't teach crap and the school systems pretty much stink so no one will get the connection. And if they do, we'll gas them. Haha. Get it. Too soon? Too soon.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Birds are nesting, trees are blooming, girls are whore-ing it up. It must be spring.
I am loving this weather. Cold weather and I don't get along. At all. I didn't post yesterday. What a loser. I was playing tax accountant all afternoon and didn't get a chance.
#731 (anyone else notice how many large numbers I keep getting?)
"There are over 2,000 different species of cactuses."
Interesting fact, Snapple. Here's my problem with that statement. Everyone knows that it is cacti, not cactuses. Even spellcheck had a problem with cactuses (and not with cacti, take that spellcheck!). And if you don't know that, go watch the Donkey Show 2 (I think-it might be the 1st movie, I don't remember) and you will learn that it's cacti, but you don't care because they hurt. For those that don't know, the Donkey Show is what I always referred to Jacka$$ as because I prefer to avoid cussing. And because it's always fun to have weird names for stuff so other people that don't know you but overhear (see eavesdrop) on your conversation get confused. That's what they get for being nosey. Says the nosey, people-watcher.
I was perusing the Snapple website the other day (hoping that I could order straight from the source, but no such luck) and discovered that they are having a contest for entries of the best Snapple Factoid, and the winner gets their fact on Snapple and like a year's supply of Snapple (they have no idea how much Snapple that is for me.). So, everyone go make entries, and then if you win, you can help supply me with Snapple.
#731 (anyone else notice how many large numbers I keep getting?)
"There are over 2,000 different species of cactuses."
Interesting fact, Snapple. Here's my problem with that statement. Everyone knows that it is cacti, not cactuses. Even spellcheck had a problem with cactuses (and not with cacti, take that spellcheck!). And if you don't know that, go watch the Donkey Show 2 (I think-it might be the 1st movie, I don't remember) and you will learn that it's cacti, but you don't care because they hurt. For those that don't know, the Donkey Show is what I always referred to Jacka$$ as because I prefer to avoid cussing. And because it's always fun to have weird names for stuff so other people that don't know you but overhear (see eavesdrop) on your conversation get confused. That's what they get for being nosey. Says the nosey, people-watcher.
I was perusing the Snapple website the other day (hoping that I could order straight from the source, but no such luck) and discovered that they are having a contest for entries of the best Snapple Factoid, and the winner gets their fact on Snapple and like a year's supply of Snapple (they have no idea how much Snapple that is for me.). So, everyone go make entries, and then if you win, you can help supply me with Snapple.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Taylor Swift has multiple personalities
There, I said it. Go ahead, hate me, I don't mind. In my scientific, official opinion, Taylor Swift has DID (Dissociative Personality Disorder a.k.a. Multiple Personality Disorder). Here's my evidence.
Compare "Today was a Fairy Tale" versus "White Horse".
"Today was a fairytale, you were the prince" versus "I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale"
End of evidence. That's all that's needed. One song life isn't a fairy tale and the other song life is. She needs to be put into a padded cell for everyone's safety. That was my epiphany of the day.
Fact #905 "The side of a hammer is called a cheek."
That kinda makes sense. If part of the hammer is called the head, then the side of that is the cheek. Nothing funny coming to mind. I'm trying, I promise. But nothing is coming. So instead we'll do cute/funny pictures.
This is the monster in my shower.
This is Alice trying to free her good twin from the other side. (It's not her evil twin because I suspect she might be the evil one.)
Nala loves carrots.
You thought the monster in the shower was scary.
So many mousies, so little time.
Ahhhh!!! Popcorn slug monster!
And final pic.
Me and hub.
Compare "Today was a Fairy Tale" versus "White Horse".
"Today was a fairytale, you were the prince" versus "I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale"
End of evidence. That's all that's needed. One song life isn't a fairy tale and the other song life is. She needs to be put into a padded cell for everyone's safety. That was my epiphany of the day.
Fact #905 "The side of a hammer is called a cheek."
That kinda makes sense. If part of the hammer is called the head, then the side of that is the cheek. Nothing funny coming to mind. I'm trying, I promise. But nothing is coming. So instead we'll do cute/funny pictures.
This is the monster in my shower.
This is Alice trying to free her good twin from the other side. (It's not her evil twin because I suspect she might be the evil one.)
Nala loves carrots.
You thought the monster in the shower was scary.
So many mousies, so little time.
Ahhhh!!! Popcorn slug monster!
And final pic.
Me and hub.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
I wish I had butt hair.
Nice title, eh? You'll understand later, eh. I've decided to go Canadian for the day, eh. Haha, eh. Just kidding. I'm lazy and that's a lot of extra letter typing.
#701. "It takes more water to fill a bathtub than it does to enjoy an average-length shower."
Ok Snapple. What is the length of an average shower? Because Hub's average shower is like 7 minutes whereas mine is about 17 minutes. At least. That's because I have ridiculously long hair. As my sister-in-law so eloquently put it on Sunday.
sis-in-law: "Amanda, I love your hair. It's almost to your butt."
me: "I know. It needs cut."
sis-in-law: "I wish I had butt hair."
dustin (cousin): "You can have mine." <-- we were all thinking this response, but he was just the fastest to get it out. That's what she said.
sis-in-law (as everyone else is cracking up): "I didn't mean like that..."
I just came to the realization that Justin Timberlake can make any two words rhyme. In his new song he rhymes errors and areas. Go ahead, say them aloud. They do not rhyme. But when JT (my nickname for Justin-because we are so close we have nicknames for each other) uses them, he forces them to rhyme. With his sheer handsome-self-hot-body-crazy-good-dancer skills. He is like a word rhyming ninja. He could probably make a word rhyme with orange or purple or silver. What's with all the unrhymable words in English being colors? Spellcheck just informed me that unrhymable is misspelled but it has no suggestions. Maybe it's supposed to be imrhymable or inrhymable? Nope. It didn't like those either. Screw you spellcheck, I'm leaving them. Stupid spellcheck.
Side note: anyone else notice how much I personify inanimate objects? I bet that isn't healthy. I mean, how can spellcheck (the inanimate object) be stupid. That implies that spellcheck lacks intelligence, but inanimate objects can't be intelligent in the first place.
Double side note: I have no idea if personify is the real word I want, but it's what spellcheck suggested, so I'm going with it.
Triple side note: I explain stuff like I'm speaking to 2nd graders (see the explanation of what the inanimate object was-haha. I did it again). The reason is either that I'm used to that from my guard girls and work or if subconsciously that's my target audience. I hope that's not my target audience. I don't think 7 year olds understand that's what she said jokes.
#701. "It takes more water to fill a bathtub than it does to enjoy an average-length shower."
Ok Snapple. What is the length of an average shower? Because Hub's average shower is like 7 minutes whereas mine is about 17 minutes. At least. That's because I have ridiculously long hair. As my sister-in-law so eloquently put it on Sunday.
sis-in-law: "Amanda, I love your hair. It's almost to your butt."
me: "I know. It needs cut."
sis-in-law: "I wish I had butt hair."
dustin (cousin): "You can have mine." <-- we were all thinking this response, but he was just the fastest to get it out. That's what she said.
sis-in-law (as everyone else is cracking up): "I didn't mean like that..."
I just came to the realization that Justin Timberlake can make any two words rhyme. In his new song he rhymes errors and areas. Go ahead, say them aloud. They do not rhyme. But when JT (my nickname for Justin-because we are so close we have nicknames for each other) uses them, he forces them to rhyme. With his sheer handsome-self-hot-body-crazy-good-dancer skills. He is like a word rhyming ninja. He could probably make a word rhyme with orange or purple or silver. What's with all the unrhymable words in English being colors? Spellcheck just informed me that unrhymable is misspelled but it has no suggestions. Maybe it's supposed to be imrhymable or inrhymable? Nope. It didn't like those either. Screw you spellcheck, I'm leaving them. Stupid spellcheck.
Side note: anyone else notice how much I personify inanimate objects? I bet that isn't healthy. I mean, how can spellcheck (the inanimate object) be stupid. That implies that spellcheck lacks intelligence, but inanimate objects can't be intelligent in the first place.
Double side note: I have no idea if personify is the real word I want, but it's what spellcheck suggested, so I'm going with it.
Triple side note: I explain stuff like I'm speaking to 2nd graders (see the explanation of what the inanimate object was-haha. I did it again). The reason is either that I'm used to that from my guard girls and work or if subconsciously that's my target audience. I hope that's not my target audience. I don't think 7 year olds understand that's what she said jokes.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
two of 2: math and it's crazy love.
2 blogs in one day. What was I thinking.
Fact #812 "111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321"
Who doesn't love a little math fact? I love me some math. I am totally a math nerd. I have a math minor from college, for no reason other then the fact that I loved math and wanted to take some math classes. Who passed Calculus 3 with an A? This girl. With more total points then hub? This girl. (Take that hub!!) I just almost made a reference to a very horrible racial stereotype but was able to control myself. Cookie for me. I wish real life worked like multiply. Now your saying, it does, that's why we have multiplication. What I mean is that I wish I could take two cookies and multiple them by each other and get four instead of just two. Ok. That statement didnt make any sense. Let me better explain. I wish if I had two piles of three cookies in each pile (say Samoes), I could multiply those two piles together and get nine. But I can't. I can only add them together and get six. Which is not nearly as meaning as nine. And, that would knock those little monopolizing girl scouts off their pedestals. I thought monopolies were illegal?! They sell those dang things one time a year for like two days. And the girl scouts are harder to find then fairies if you don't have kids of your own. I just want to go to the elementary school playground and start waiving my money around begging for a girl scout but I would probably be arrested for being a creepy child stalker. At least I don't own a van. But seriously, those little brats are like the mafia with their cookies. And they jack the price every year, and cut down on the number of cookies in a box every year too. They are drug dealers. The shortest, cutest, best dressed, most well organized drug dealers I've ever met. How many drug dealers have I met? Remember (or just learn), that I work at a law office and before that worked at a court, so I've met more then the average person. I could hook you up if I really wanted. Except for with girl scout cookies. Because the two-day window is over. I think next year I am going to buy about a million dollars worth and freeze them. Side note: Edy's has girl scout cookie flavored ice cream (with pieces of the real cookies and everything)! I have a quart of Samoes ice cream in my freezer. And its delicious. And about three months later, when everyone just finished their last thin mint that they had been saving for two months and 30 days (because everyone knows the second you get the box you rip it open and devour almost all of those heavenly things until you realize that is all you have to last the next year and you feel guilty for leaving only one, besides the crumbs of the others that flew out of your mouth) is gone and they are jonesing for their cookie fix, I will pull my frozen cookies out, hit ebay, and make five million dollars. A day. I will jack those prices up higher then the girl scout cookies. I'll sell them in baggies. Like a drug dealer. Just cleaner, and less unhealthy (double negative=positive). I will run my own monopoly on girl scout cookies. And teach those little brat girl scouts a lesson or two. They will rue the day they withhold their cookies from me.
Fact #812 "111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321"
Who doesn't love a little math fact? I love me some math. I am totally a math nerd. I have a math minor from college, for no reason other then the fact that I loved math and wanted to take some math classes. Who passed Calculus 3 with an A? This girl. With more total points then hub? This girl. (Take that hub!!) I just almost made a reference to a very horrible racial stereotype but was able to control myself. Cookie for me. I wish real life worked like multiply. Now your saying, it does, that's why we have multiplication. What I mean is that I wish I could take two cookies and multiple them by each other and get four instead of just two. Ok. That statement didnt make any sense. Let me better explain. I wish if I had two piles of three cookies in each pile (say Samoes), I could multiply those two piles together and get nine. But I can't. I can only add them together and get six. Which is not nearly as meaning as nine. And, that would knock those little monopolizing girl scouts off their pedestals. I thought monopolies were illegal?! They sell those dang things one time a year for like two days. And the girl scouts are harder to find then fairies if you don't have kids of your own. I just want to go to the elementary school playground and start waiving my money around begging for a girl scout but I would probably be arrested for being a creepy child stalker. At least I don't own a van. But seriously, those little brats are like the mafia with their cookies. And they jack the price every year, and cut down on the number of cookies in a box every year too. They are drug dealers. The shortest, cutest, best dressed, most well organized drug dealers I've ever met. How many drug dealers have I met? Remember (or just learn), that I work at a law office and before that worked at a court, so I've met more then the average person. I could hook you up if I really wanted. Except for with girl scout cookies. Because the two-day window is over. I think next year I am going to buy about a million dollars worth and freeze them. Side note: Edy's has girl scout cookie flavored ice cream (with pieces of the real cookies and everything)! I have a quart of Samoes ice cream in my freezer. And its delicious. And about three months later, when everyone just finished their last thin mint that they had been saving for two months and 30 days (because everyone knows the second you get the box you rip it open and devour almost all of those heavenly things until you realize that is all you have to last the next year and you feel guilty for leaving only one, besides the crumbs of the others that flew out of your mouth) is gone and they are jonesing for their cookie fix, I will pull my frozen cookies out, hit ebay, and make five million dollars. A day. I will jack those prices up higher then the girl scout cookies. I'll sell them in baggies. Like a drug dealer. Just cleaner, and less unhealthy (double negative=positive). I will run my own monopoly on girl scout cookies. And teach those little brat girl scouts a lesson or two. They will rue the day they withhold their cookies from me.
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